After: Xina

P90X is over. Finally!

Truth be told, we pretty much bailed out weeks ago. I checked out somewhere in Phase 2 and half assed my way across the finish line. Mike made it all the way into Phase 3, but once he started traveling for work and working overnights, he pretty much quit completely.

However, I did a P90X workout at least every week until the end, so even if I was gimping, I made it.

I’m glad to be free of it. P90x fucked me all up. It brought back my obsession, and the backlash to that was both damaging and counterproductive. I have ended up way back where I started. Back to counting calories, back to being controlled by the number on the scale, back to scrutinizing myself. Which was exactly what I didn’t want.

I can definitely see a difference in my pictures. I do look more tone in the after pictures, not to mention with new hair and a tan. So there was positive effect, though I don’t know how much is exclusively P90X and how much is excessive belly dancing.

But I just can’t get past the number on the scale. I look better, but 5 more pounds haunts me. I want to lose 11 pounds and would need to lose 16 to get back to where I was post last diet. So back on the last diet I go. I am going to try to even behave in Colorado for the next two weeks. I have had enough binging vacations recently; I obviously don’t need anymore.

P90X was an experience, but I don’t know that it was a healthy one for me, and I doubt I’ll repeat it. At most, I will probably just integrate pieces of it into my old, tried and true routine.

Xina Before/After

Final Weigh In

Mike:

Xina: 0 pounds (+5 total)
Chest: +1 inch (0 total)
Waist: o inch (-1 total)
Hips: 0 inch (0 total)
Thighs: +1/+1 inch (-.5 and -.5 total)
Arms:

Week 10: Xina

Just let it be over. Fuck it. Just let it be done.

This is our last week with strength training. Next week is a recovery week; then that’s the end of P90X.

Perhaps if we, specifically me, had stuck to it, this would feel like an accomplishment. Mike has been far more committed and plans to redo it when we get home from Colorado. I, however, feel like it was a waste of time. Until I look at my toner abs in the pictures.

I’m ready to be done. I’m ready to return to the gym and do my thing, exercise and enjoy it. As we lay in bed this morning, debating whether to work out or not, I said if we didn’t work out, we might as well just quit right now at the end. I think I quit back in Phase 2 though, and Mike was forced out as well with his injured shoulder.

Ah well. I said I would do it, and I’m mere days away from 90.

Weigh In 10

Mike: +1 pound (-9 total)

Xina: 0 pounds (+5 total)

Week 9: Xina

I didn’t post a weekly last week, probably because I didn’t want to. I don’t know how I feel about this shit anymore; I just know I want it over. The workouts frustrate me, and I often sleep through them, and the weigh ins upset me.

My pounds continue to go up. However, my pictures and my measurements show improvement. It’s fucking confusing and hard for me to process. I know muscle weighs more than fat and bla bla bla, but that is hard for a brain obsessed with the weight number to deal with. I would love to be able to tell myself to not care about the number, but it hasn’t worked so far.

My thyroid may also have come into play. My symptoms for hypothyroidism have accelerated recently. My doctor believes it may be time to medicate me. If that is so, that could be packing on the pounds for me as well. However, I have not heard back on my blood work yet. It would be nice for it to be an effortless fix, but I kind of doubt it will be that.

Mike has also been gone the past couple weeks. He has been what gets me out of bed and to the workouts, but he has been on the road. I have been far less committed on my own.

Three more weeks. I can do it then never do P90X again.

Weigh In 9

Mike: -2 pounds (-10 total)

Xina: +2 pounds (+5 total)